I Am Not Good Enough

Igor Štromajer
pseudo-/para-artist




"If I worked harder, I'd be a better artist."

"If I had more time, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were rich, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were a woman, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were younger, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were more aggressive, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were faster, I'd be a better artist."

"If I had more fans, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were more intelligent, I'd be a better artist."

"If I spoke better English, I'd be a better artist."

"If I had more friends, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were making love every day for hours, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were more emotional, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were happier, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were dead, I'd be a better artist."

"If I were a better artist, I'd be a better artist."



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I Am (Not Good Enough)

I.

if I were
     rich
     fast
     smart
     and younger

if I had
     more time

if I were
     a woman
     a Trotskyist
     and offline

if I worked
     more
     and harder

if I spoke
     better
          English
          German
          and French

     I would be
     a better artist

II.

I have
     an infinite
     amount of time
I am
     completely unreliable
     yet fully predictable

I am not
     good enough
     as an artist
but I am
     tolerated




Ich bin (nicht gut genug)

I.

Wäre ich
     reich,
     schnell,
     klug
     und jünger,
hätte ich
     mehr Zeit,
wäre ich
     eine Frau,
     ein Trotzkist,
     und offline,
arbeitete ich
     mehr
     und härter,
spräche ich
     besser Englisch, Deutsch und Französisch,

     wäre ich
     ein besserer Künstler.

II.

Ich habe
     unendlich
     viel Zeit
und bin
     komplett unzuverlässig,
     aber doch völlig vorhersehbar.

Ich bin
     nicht gut genug
     als Künstler.
Toleriert
     werde ich.


intima, 2019